OCD makes me feel like a bad person

Sooooo. Are you a bad person or not? I mean OCD sure tells you that you are by the thoughts or actions you're doing. And noooo, I'm not going to provide reassurance (because we know that keeps you more stuck) But I'm going to tell you what's happening in your brain and how we can challenge this belief that you are simply a bad person.

First off, think about this. It's such an overgeneralization. Good person. Bad person. What are we doing? Focusing on one little strand of information and forgetting about everything else. That's exactly what OCD does. Forget about all the good you've done in the world. You're now bad.

Think of OCD like an overprotective guardian, the kind that refuses to let you step out of your comfort zone. It's like your brain's way of wanting to keep you safe, even if it means taking things to the extreme. It's like having a strict, well-intentioned parent who never lets you cross the street, even when you're all grown up!

"No, sweetie! You can't cross the street without holding my hand." That's what OCD is like. It's always there, watching, and saying, "Don't do that! It's wrong! You're a bad person if you do." But guess what? It's time to put on your big-kid pants because we're about to challenge this overbearing guardian!

You see, the thing is, OCD doesn't want you to take risks. It wants you to follow its strict rules, which are often irrational and exaggerated. But in doing so, it can create a self-fulfilling prophecy, making you feel like a terrible person for merely thinking about defying its rules.

You're walking down the street, and suddenly, a distressing thought crosses your mind. OCD chimes in, telling you that you're a bad person for having that thought. So, you try to push it away, but guess what happens? You end up thinking about it even more! It's like when someone says, "Don't think about pink elephants," and suddenly, all you can think about is pink elephants.

So, how do you break free from this never-ending loop of self-doubt and guilt? Well you might think that it's our job to look at all the evidence and break it down. "No, I'm not a bad person because I do this and this and this and this." "Everything has these kind of thoughts." "Well, I'm not acting on these thoughts, so there's that." This is the normal way we'd probably want to take care of it...but actually, in the long run it doesn't work because OCD seems to be one step ahead and be ready to let you know what you just said is inaccurate. It even produces a feeling to try to prove its point.

Treatment for bad person OCD

So here is what we do instead. We act like we don't care. But Nate, if I act like I don't care, then it means I like the thoughts. It means, I'll give into the thing my brain says and I am a bad person. Guess what? That's OCD talking because it doesn't want to go away.

We do this thing called exposure and response prevention. I take you through this step by step with worksheets and videos on my master your OCD online course, I'll link that in the description. But here's a preview of what it looks like.

"I'm a bad person because I had a weird thought about hurting someone."

ERP (exposure and response prevention) Approach: Write down the intrusive thought and repeatedly read it or expose yourself to it in a controlled manner. Instead of engaging with the thought or analyzing it, simply accept it and let it be without seeking reassurance or performing any compulsive behavior. Responses like, "cool" "totally" "sure" "okay"

We repeat this over and over again until the brain stops sending danger signals. But, but, but, if I do this then what if I really give in? This is where we gain trust. Realizing that nothing happened after we stop trying to control it.

What we're not doing is, saying. "Nooo, I'd never do that." Because I just imagine OCD coming out of the shadows....but are you sure.....

"I must be a bad person because I had blasphemous thoughts."

ERP Approach: Engage in an activity or attend a religious service that triggers the intrusive thought. Rather than trying to suppress the thought or seek forgiveness, let it be and continue with the activity. Over time, this can help desensitize you to the distressing thought.

"I'm a bad person for having inappropriate thoughts about a family member."
ERP Approach: Spend time with the family member who triggers the intrusive thought. Engage in activities as you normally would. Rather than avoiding the family member or seeking reassurance, expose yourself to the situation and allow the thought to come and go without reacting to it.

This method applies to really anything. What's happening is the brain is sending danger signals about the "what ifs" and we're not giving into them anymore. It's going to make you feel like a bad person. But this is when we're using the responses of....yeah man. Cool. Thanks for the thought. Love it. Sweet. Surely.

So it's a two parter. Action and response. I'm doing exposure therapy to risk that the thought is false and I'm responding as if I don't care. The feeling of being a bad person is just another intrusive false feeling.

We just keep living the life that you're living. That feeling of being "bad" slowly dissipates as long as we take that value away from the intrusive thoughts and feelings.

The key to ERP is gradually and systematically confronting the intrusive thoughts while resisting the urge to engage in compulsive behaviors or avoidance. Over time, this can help reduce the anxiety associated with these thoughts and ultimately diminish their impact on your daily life, making you feel like you don't care about them anymore.

Does your brain try to convince you that you're a bad person? Let me know in the comments and to enhance your skills even more, go watch this video right here where I take you through even more OCD treatment tips.