Why Can't I Fall Asleep? Sleep Obsessions

Do you find yourself lying in bed, staring at the ceiling, and obsessing about your inability to fall asleep? Does the worry about not getting enough sleep consume your thoughts and make it even harder to relax and drift off? If so, you may be experiencing sleep obsessions, a type of anxiety disorder that affects many people.

Hi, I'm Nathan Peterson, a licensed therapist and specialist in OCD and Anxiety

Don't you fret - there are ways to break the cycle of obsessive thoughts and compulsive behaviors and get a good night's sleep. I decided to ask my good ol' friend google to give me the top ways to fall asleep and here's what it said.

Stick to a regular sleep schedule

Create a relaxing bedtime routine - take a bath, read a book, practice relaxation techniques, do some deep breathing.

Create a comfortable sleep environment - Sleep on a good quality mattress, pillow, and sheets. Make sure the room is dark, cool and quiet.

Limit caffeine and alcohol intake a few hours before bed.

Manage stress

Get regular exercise.

Ultimately, here's the dealio --- The more we try to control the more our brain is going to be hyperaware that we're not sleeping.

FREE TALK ABOUT WHY THIS CAN BE DANGEROUS:

One approach that can be effective is exposure and response prevention (ERP) therapy, a type of cognitive-behavioral therapy that has been proven to be helpful in treating sleep obsessions.

Instead of trying to figure out all the things that you need to do to "sleep" - we're going to focus on riding the wave of uncertainty and accepting that you might sleep and you might not.

First, let's understand what triggers sleep obsessions. It's the worry about not being able to fall asleep. This worry leads to anxiety, which, in turn, makes it harder to relax and fall asleep, creating a vicious cycle.

In ERP therapy, the first step is to identify the trigger for the obsession. In this case, the trigger is the worry about not being able to fall asleep. Then, the therapist will ask you to expose yourself to this trigger in a controlled way, without giving in to the compulsion.

For example, your therapist may ask you to set a timer for 30 minutes and lie in bed without trying to fall asleep. During this time, it's essential to resist the urge to engage in any behaviors that reinforce the obsession, such as checking the clock or getting out of bed.

This may be challenging at first, but over time, it can help reduce the anxiety associated with the obsession. By resisting these compulsions, you learn that the anxiety associated with the obsession is temporary and that it will eventually pass.

Resist OCD Compulsions

As you get better at resisting the compulsions, your therapist will gradually increase the length of time that you are exposed to the trigger, until you can tolerate it without experiencing significant anxiety.

Through ERP therapy, you can learn to break the cycle of obsessive thoughts and compulsive behaviors and regain control over your sleep.

Ultimately, what it comes down to is that all the things you think you're doing to get to sleep are probably keeping you up. Yes, it's great to sleep in a cozy bed and cool down the room. yada yada. But we do it as a preference vs "the only way I can fall asleep"

Some choose to mess up the sleeping routine and throw all the "rules" out the window." Maybe I'll sleep, maybe I won't. Or "I hope I don't sleep tonight" - that would be great.
When someone gets to a point where they've been able to reduce the anxiety or fear of being able to sleep, this is where we can focus more on life things. I prefer to exercise because it helps me. I prefer not to drink caffeine before bed.

If you're not sure where to start, you may practice laying in bed with the goal to not sleep. Let thoughts flow and answer them with no judgement. They aren't good thoughts or bad thoughts. Any threats that come your way, you're answering them with....yep, sure, okay, I hope I don't fall asleep, maybe, maybe not. Acting like you don't care.

It's a skill and mindset to get really good at. Our mindset in important, the way we think is going to be the way we feel. We can often be hard on ourselves or have unrealistic expectations. To help you challenge these and get the mean voices to stop, go watch this video here.

Also, if you've ever felt anxious to sleep in the past, hit that like button so we can see who else relates.