But, my intentions were good, right?

OCD makes people question their intentions

Here we go again. That pesky OCD is at it once more, stirring up doubts about our intentions, even when we logically know we had good ones. But fear not, today we're going to tackle how to respond to these doubts and regain control over our lives.

Picture this: You're at a party, having a great time, when suddenly, you accidentally bump into someone, spilling their drink. Now, for most people, it's a simple apology and moving on. But for someone with OCD, that moment can trigger a cascade of doubts. "Did I bump into them on purpose? What if they think I'm rude? What if they hate me now?" It's like being trapped in a whirlwind of uncertainty.

Or perhaps: You're playing catch with your dog, and you accidentally throw the ball too hard, hitting a passerby. You rush over to apologize, but then OCD chimes in, planting seeds of doubt. "Did you throw it too forcefully on purpose? What if they think you're aggressive? What if they're hurt because of you?" "It’s possible you wanted to hurt them.” “Maybe you even like it.” Despite knowing it was an honest mistake, OCD makes you question your intentions.

So frustrating, right? Well, that's because OCD doesn't play by the rules of logic. Its job is to make you doubt, to send false signals, and it's our job not to react to them.

Exposure and Response Prevention: Now, when faced with those nagging doubts, we're gonna flip the script. Instead of getting caught up in the endless loop of questioning, we're gonna embrace the discomfort. We'll acknowledge that accidents happen and that intentions can sometimes be misinterpreted.

BUT, we're not going to seek reassurance. That's where the danger lies. The brain automatically wants to make sense of it all, to ruminate, to replay the situation. This keeps people stuck in the cycle of OCD. But guess what? We're not staying there.

How to treat OCD fears

Embrace the discomfort. It’s a simple phrase, but it packs a punch. It means giving those thoughts no value, being willing to sit with the uncomfortable feelings without seeking reassurance. You threw that ball hard on purpose? Yep, totally. Maybe I did. Well, if your intentions are bad, then you’re not a great person. Well, okay.

Here’s the game-changer: We're going to expose ourselves to the same situations, risking the same doubts, and respond differently. We're taking away any value from the intent.

I know what you're thinking: "But what if my situation is different?" Let me tell you a little secret: it's not. Whether it's a ball being thrown or intrusive thoughts about causing harm or offending God, the response is the same. We're responding as if a false fire alarm is blaring and we don’t care.

It's a skill you learn over time. You won’t feel it the first time you do it. Or the second…or the third. But keep at it. We need to take away any value assigned to intent. If you even have to wonder what your intentions were… that's telling you something right there… OCD… OCD… OCD.

To enhance those skills even more, check out the video linked here. Trust me, you're going to need it.