3 ERP Mistakes That Keep Your OCD Alive (And How to Fix Them)

Why Your ERP Therapy Might Not Be Working

You're doing everything right.

You're facing your fears. You're doing exposures. You're trying so hard to beat your OCD.

But something's off.

The OCD recovery everyone talks about? It's not happening for you.

Here's why: Most people are accidentally turning Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP) therapy into the very thing that keeps their OCD alive.

And the worst part? It looks like they're doing treatment correctly.

As a licensed clinical social worker specializing in OCD treatment for over 15 years, I've seen these patterns repeatedly. Let me show you the three biggest mistakes—and how to fix them.

Mistake #1: Turning Exposures Into Certainty-Seeking Missions

This is the most common way people sabotage their own recovery.

They do the exposure, but the entire goal is to prove that the fear was wrong.

What This Looks Like in Real Life

Let's say you have hit and run OCD.

You're terrified of driving because "what if you hit somebody and didn't notice?"

So you decide to do an exposure. You drive down the street. You feel a bump. You resist the urge to turn around and check.

Good start, right?

Not if you're doing this:

• Spending hours replaying every moment of the drive
• Analyzing: "Was it a pothole? Was it a person?"
• Checking the news for accident reports
• Inspecting your car for dents or blood
• Reviewing mental footage over and over
• Reassuring yourself: "I would know if I actually hit someone, right?"

You just turned your exposure into a reassurance ritual.

You used ERP to gain certainty—which is never really there.

Why This Keeps OCD Alive

Your brain is screaming for proof. It wants evidence that you're safe.

But collecting evidence is a compulsion.

When you do exposures to prove your fear wrong, you're teaching your brain:

• The fear could be real
• Certainty is necessary
• You need to check to be safe

We're not trying to prove anything when we do OCD treatment.

Yes, your brain will naturally say "See, nothing bad happened!" after successful exposures.

That's fine—that's habituation working.

But if you're seeking that proof? That's a compulsion.

The Fix: Embrace "Maybe, Maybe Not"

Do your exposure with the goal of practicing uncertainty.

Drive down the street. Feel the bump. And respond with:

• "Maybe I hit someone. Maybe I didn't."
• "I guess I'll never know for sure."
• "Maybe it was nothing. Maybe it wasn't."

You're not looking for proof.

You're teaching your brain that uncertainty is okay.

Mistake #2: Using Subtle Safety Behaviors During Exposures

This is the sneakiest mistake.

You think you're being brave. You're doing the exposure.

But you're doing it with a safety net.

What Safety Behaviors Look Like

Let's say you have harm OCD.

You're terrified of being around knives. Your OCD says: "What if you lose control and hurt somebody?"

So you do an exposure. You go to the kitchen. You pick up a knife.

Look at you—you're doing ERP!

Except...

• You make sure no one else is in the room
• You hold the knife a very specific way
• You keep telling yourself: "I would never do this. I'm a good person. This is just OCD."
• You stay far away from other people
• You only hold it for 30 seconds before putting it down

Those are all safety behaviors.

You're doing the exposure, but you're also making sure you're "safe" while doing it.

Why Safety Behaviors Sabotage Treatment

When you use safety behaviors, your brain learns:

• "You're right to be scared. This IS dangerous."
• "You need these precautions to be safe."
• "Without these protections, something bad would happen."

You're not fully engaging with the exposure.

You're keeping one foot on the brake while trying to accelerate.

Common Safety Behaviors People Don't Realize They're Doing

• Mental reassurance: "I'm a good person. I would never do this."
• Specific positioning: Standing a certain distance away, holding things a certain way
• Escape plans: "I'll only do this for 2 minutes" or "I can stop if it gets too bad"
• Controlled environments: Only doing exposures when alone or in "safe" places
• Checking behaviors: Monitoring your feelings, thoughts, or body sensations

The tricky part? These behaviors can be so subtle you don't even notice them.

But OCD notices.

The Fix: Write Down ALL Your Safety Behaviors

Before you do your next exposure, make a list:

• What compulsions do I typically do?
• What mental reassurance do I give myself?
• What conditions do I need to feel "safe" during exposures?
• What escape plans am I keeping in my back pocket?

Write them on your phone. Write them on paper. Use a worksheet.

Then remove them from your exposures.

Hold the knife with someone in the room.

Touch the doorknob without washing your hands after.

Drive without checking your mirrors constantly.

No safety net. Pure faith that everything will work out.

Mistake #3: Stopping When You Feel Better

This one's huge.

And it's super tempting because obviously, the whole point of anxiety treatment is to feel better, right?

So the moment your anxiety drops during an exposure, you think:

"Great! Mission accomplished. I did it. I'm done."

Why This Is Actually a Problem

When you end the exposure the moment you feel better, you accidentally train your brain that:

• Anxiety is a problem that needs to be solved
• The goal of exposures is to get rid of anxiety as fast as possible
• Feeling better means you can stop now

Your brain learns: "Oh, I know this game. I just need to white-knuckle it until the anxiety drops, and then I can bail."

Habituation vs. Avoidance

Yes, habituation is real and normal.

When you do an exposure and your anxiety is high, then it naturally comes down—that's your brain learning.

That's a good thing!

But there's a difference between:

• Natural habituation: Your anxiety drops because your brain is learning the threat isn't real
• Using habituation as a goal: You're enduring the exposure specifically to make anxiety go away

The second one reinforces that anxiety is the enemy.

The Fix: Stay Longer Than You Think You Need To

When your anxiety drops during an exposure, don't immediately end it.

Stay for a minute or two longer.

Teach your brain: "I don't care if anxiety is here or not. It's welcome to stay if it wants to."

Then, even when you're NOT feeling anxious, go back and do the exposure again.

• Hold the knife again
• Touch the doorknob again
• Watch the triggering video again

You're changing your relationship with anxiety.

You're showing your brain that the presence or absence of anxiety doesn't dictate your actions.

How to Do ERP Therapy Correctly

Okay, so I've shown you what NOT to do.

Now let me flip this around and show you what effective OCD exposure therapy actually looks like.

The Right Way to Do Exposures

1. Embrace Uncertainty, Not Certainty

• Use "maybe, maybe not" responses
• Practice NOT knowing for sure
• Resist the urge to collect evidence or proof

2. Remove ALL Safety Behaviors

• No reassurance (mental or verbal)
• No escape plans
• Pure faith that everything will work out

3. Don't Stop When You Feel Better

• Stay with the exposure longer than needed
• Return to exposures even when you're not anxious
• Show your brain that anxiety isn't the problem

The Simple ERP Formula

Here's what every effective exposure should include:

1. Choose an action you can repeat over and over
2. Use uncertainty responses: "Maybe, maybe not" or "I don't care" or agreeing with the fear
3. Don't do compulsions: No washing, checking, reassurance-seeking, or mental reviewing
4. Let anxiety rise and fall naturally (sometimes it doesn't fall—that's okay too)
5. Repeat frequently throughout your day

Don't overthink it.

If you're stuck thinking "Am I doing this wrong?" you'll never start.

What Real OCD Recovery Looks Like

You don't need certainty.

You don't need safety behaviors.

Your anxiety is a false signal—unless something actually dangerous is happening that's obvious and undeniable.

(That doesn't happen very often.)

Real recovery comes when you:

• Stop trying to prove your fears wrong
• Remove the safety nets you've been clinging to
• Learn that anxiety doesn't need to be "fixed"

That's when ERP actually works.

Research shows that 60-80% of people with OCD see significant improvement with proper ERP therapy.

But the key word is proper.

If you're making these three mistakes, you're not doing ERP—you're doing a modified version that keeps your OCD comfortable.

Ready to Do ERP the Right Way?

If you've been doing exposures but not seeing progress, these three mistakes probably explain why.

The good news? Once you understand what's going wrong, you can fix it.

Sometimes one small shift in approach makes all the difference between:

• Doing treatment that feels exhausting and ineffective
• Doing treatment that actually creates lasting change

You can beat OCD.

You just need to make sure you're doing the treatment correctly.

Stop seeking certainty. Remove your safety behaviors. Don't bail when anxiety drops.

That's when recovery happens.

Nathan Peterson, LCSW
OCD and Anxiety Specialist
Creator of "OCD and Anxiety" YouTube Channel
Developer of Master Your OCD Online Course