Is Your Hair Pulling Getting Out of Control? Here's What You Need to Know
You've told yourself you'll stop. You've hidden the spots, promised yourself "last one," and then caught your hand back in your hair an hour later. If that sounds familiar, this page is about what actually helps you stop pulling your hair.
By Nathan Peterson, LCSW, OCD therapistThe difference between trichotillomania and other types of hair pulling
Plucking your eyebrows to shape them, or pulling a gray hair now and then, isn't trichotillomania. You decide to do it, you stop when you're done, and it doesn't take over your day.
Trichotillomania is repeated hair pulling that leads to hair loss, where you keep trying to cut back and can't. It often comes with an urge or tension beforehand and relief after, and it can happen without you noticing. Some people use their fingers, some use tweezers. The tool doesn't decide it. What decides it is whether you can stop when you want to. Read more about what trichotillomania is and its symptoms.
Older articles call hair pulling an impulse control disorder or a form of self-injury. That's out of date. It's a body-focused repetitive behavior (BFRB), listed with OCD and related disorders.
How to stop pulling your hair
These are the same pieces a therapist uses in habit reversal training. You can start on them today.
1. Track it first
For a few days, write down every time you pull or catch yourself about to: where you were, what you were doing, which hand, and what you felt right before. Pulling usually has a pattern, like the car, bed, homework, or the bathroom mirror, and you can't plan for a pattern you haven't seen.
2. Catch the moment before
Most pulling starts with small moves. Your hand drifts up, you touch your hair, you start feeling for the "right" one. The earlier you notice, the easier the next step is.
3. Give your hands a job
When the urge shows up, do something with your hands that makes pulling hard, like making a fist, holding a fidget toy, or sitting on your hands. Keep it up for about a minute, or until the urge drops.
4. Make it harder where you pull
- A hat, hood, or bandana while you study, drive, or watch TV
- Bandages or finger covers on the fingers you pull with
- Gloves in bed if you pull at night
- Dimmer bathroom light, or a timer at the mirror
- Tweezers kept somewhere inconvenient, or out of the house
I know, a bandage on your finger sounds way too simple for something you've fought for years. The simple part is the point. The work is doing it every time, especially the times you don't want to.
How to stop pulling eyebrows and eyelashes
Brow and lash pulling often happens when your hand is already near your face, like leaning on your hand while reading or rubbing your eyes when you're tired. A few things that help:
- Glasses or fake lashes, so there's something in the way
- A light layer of brow gel or petroleum jelly so hairs are harder to grip
- Keeping your hands busy during screen time and reading
- Noticing when you prop your head on your hand, and switching position
Eyelashes and brows often grow back once the pulling slows down, though it can take a while.
Treatment for trichotillomania
The main treatment for hair pulling is habit reversal training, or HRT, often as part of a bigger plan called the ComB model. Some therapists add acceptance-based skills too, so you can let the urge be there without acting on it.
For the full breakdown, see trichotillomania treatment explained.
Why willpower doesn't work
"Just stop" treats pulling like a choice you're making badly. Most of the time the urge shows up before you've decided anything. HRT doesn't wait for you to feel like stopping. It gives your hands a plan and lets the urge be there until it fades.
Medication
No medication is approved specifically for trichotillomania. Some doctors prescribe medication to help, so that's a conversation to have with your doctor or psychiatrist.
So here's what you do. Pick your number one pulling spot, the place it happens most, and change one thing about it today. Hat on the desk chair. Fidget on the nightstand. Bandage by the mirror. (Yes, you'll take the bandage off. Put it back on.)
If you want help building the whole plan, that's what the course below is for.
Common questions about stopping hair pulling
How long does it take to stop pulling hair?
It depends on the person and how long you've been pulling. Most people see the urges get easier to ride out before they stop altogether. Slips are part of it, and a slip doesn't erase the work you've done.
What can I do with my hands instead of pulling?
Anything that keeps your fingers busy and away from your hair. Some options: a fidget toy, a stress ball, silly putty, a textured ring, a hair tie on your wrist, or clasping your hands. Pick one you can keep where you usually pull.
Do I have to cut my hair short or shave it?
No. Some people find short hair, a hat, or a hood makes pulling harder for a while, and that's a fine tool if you want it. It isn't required, and it works best alongside the other steps.
Is there a test for hair pulling?
There's a free hair pulling test you can take in a couple of minutes. It isn't a diagnosis, but it can tell you whether it's worth talking to someone who treats BFRBs.
